Aries
March 21 – April 19
Your impulsiveness is hitting new levels this week, Aries. You’ll make a decision so questionable that even you will look around for someone else to blame. Someone will challenge you, and rather than admitting fault, you’ll double down like a gambler on a losing streak. You’re convinced you’re the main character, but honestly, this week you’re more like a background extra who wandered into the wrong scene.
Lucky colour: Righteous delusion red.
Taurus
April 20 – May 20
You’re clinging to routine like a toddler holding a security blanket soaked in applesauce. This week something shifts — nothing dramatic, but just enough to send you spiraling into quiet fury. You’ll snap at someone for “changing plans,” even though the plan only existed inside your head. Comfort food solves most of your problems, but not the one where people are tired of your passive-aggressive sighing.
Lucky colour: Couch-potato taupe.
Gemini
May 21 – June 20
Your mouth is writing cheques your attention span cannot cash. You’ll agree to something early in the week and instantly regret it when you remember you hate commitment. Expect someone to call you out for being inconsistent; you’ll charm your way out of it, but only barely. This is also the week you think you’ve had a “deep revelation,” but it’s actually just caffeine and panic working together.
Lucky colour: Whatever distracts you next.
Cancer
June 21 – July 22
Prepare for a wave of feelings — yours, someone else’s, the cat’s, who knows. You’re running at full emotional volume while everyone around you begs for the remote. Someone doesn’t give you the reassurance you crave, and you’ll build an entire psychological thriller in your mind starring you as the betrayed hero. When asked what’s wrong, you’ll stare dramatically into space.
Lucky colour: Damp pillow blue.
Leo
July 23 – August 22
Your confidence is high, but unfortunately, so is your capacity for embarrassment. This week you’ll attempt a grand gesture that lands with all the grace of a dropped bowling ball. Someone else gets applauded and you’ll pretend to smile while plotting their downfall like an off-brand Bond villain. You desperately need validation — but you’ll act like you don’t care when you don’t get it.
Lucky colour: Melted spotlight gold.
Virgo
August 23 – September 22
This is the week you notice something minuscule and completely ruin your own mood over it. Someone will ask you to “relax,” which is adorable considering you’ve never once done that. You try to fix a situation but end up micromanaging it into oblivion. Remember: perfection isn’t possible — but judging others for not achieving it definitely is.
Lucky colour: Sanitized anxiety.
Libra
September 23 – October 22
The universe presents you with a choice. You refuse to make it. Someone gets frustrated with your diplomatic dithering and you’ll act deeply wounded, as if choosing a lunch spot were a moral dilemma. You’re so focused on keeping the peace that you create the exact chaos you’re trying to avoid.
Lucky colour: Pleasant indecision.
Scorpio
October 23 – November 21
The mask slips this week. Your “mysterious intensity” reads more like “emotional tax hazard.” Someone pushes a boundary, and you’ll respond by either overreacting or giving them the silent treatment until they beg for forgiveness. You want honesty but get suspicious when you receive it.
Lucky colour: Brooding maroon.
Sagittarius
November 22 – December 21
Your restless energy is at an all-time high. You’re itching for a new adventure, which is code for “running away from your responsibilities again.” You’ll speak your truth a little too loudly and a little too unfiltered, leaving someone stunned and you genuinely baffled as to why. Try sitting still for five minutes — no, not physically, mentally.
Lucky colour: Wanderlust wildfire.
Capricorn
December 22 – January 19
You’re convinced no one understands how much you’re doing — mainly because you refuse to delegate anything. This week brings a small success that you immediately downplay because joy feels suspicious to you. Someone will offer help; you’ll say no, then complain no one ever helps you.
Lucky colour: Executive exhaustion.
Aquarius
January 20 – February 18
You’re at your most contrarian this week. Someone states a harmless opinion and you’ll disagree purely out of instinct. You claim to be logical, but your decisions scream “performed eccentricity.” Expect to feel misunderstood — partly because you say everything in riddles, and partly because you genuinely enjoy being difficult.
Lucky colour: Off-brand innovation.
Pisces
February 19 – March 20
Reality taps on your shoulder, and you pretend you didn’t hear it. Your dream world is lovely this week — too bad your responsibilities aren’t attending the party. Someone needs you to be clear and direct, so naturally you will be vague and poetic instead. A minor inconvenience might send you into an existential spiral, but hey, you’ll get a good nap out of it.
Lucky colour: Misty escapism.